<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Dear Me by the_jade_princess</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753920">Dear Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_jade_princess/pseuds/the_jade_princess'>the_jade_princess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lego Ninjago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>10th anniversary, a bit angsty at times, mentions Lloyrumi but not in a shippy way, spoilers up to ns10, tjp writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:07:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_jade_princess/pseuds/the_jade_princess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lloyd-centric fic written for the amazing 10th Anniversary Zine! <br/>Link to Zine Post - https://ninjaneverquit-zine.tumblr.com/post/640261312611483648/after-roughly-a-year-in-production-featuring-a</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dear Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear me,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd paused and studied the beginning. An eraser soon scrubbed the two words from the page, leaving behind faded outlines of the letters. He chewed his pencil for a moment before carefully trying another phrase.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear younger me,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That sounds like a song," he muttered as he erased those words too. Their faded indentations joined the other failed attempts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Late afternoon sun trickled onto the lined notebook paper. The green ninja sighed dramatically and stubbornly rested his head in his arms on the desk. <em>This assignment is stupid</em>, he thought, chewing on the pencil again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a tiring round of sunrise exercises, Wu had pulled his "prized" student aside and instructed/forced the boy to write a letter to a younger version of Lloyd. Which was dumb, Lloyd had noted, since he was technically still young. But, his uncle had brushed the comment off with a thwack on the boy’s head from his bamboo “sensei staff” and directed Lloyd to write.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the others played videogames and hung out, free from their protector duties for a few precious hours, Lloyd was stuck in his room attempting (and failing) to produce something that would please Wu enough. Homework. How ironic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even now, he could hear Jay's electric laughter slice across the courtyard, soon harmonizing with Nya's trickling snort-laugh and Zane's metallic chuckle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Footsteps approached Lloyd's thin door and paused. The shuffling was followed by a soft, rhythmic pattern. "Come in," Lloyd called to his older brother, huffing quietly afterwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cole pushed the sliding door aside, struggling slightly to force it open as it caught on the same old position. “You should fix that,” he noted. “I never have time to,” Lloyd countered saltily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cole stepped in, waving a peace offering of- "Is that candy?" Lloyd immediately perked up, his tongue tingling and his jade eyes sparkling with newfound energy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Large, muscular hands pawned over the bag to eager, smaller paws in exchange for the right to sit on the edge of the bed occupying the center of the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd tore into the gift and fished out the gummies. His dragon-like teeth wrestled with the chewy texture. "How's the letter coming?" Cole asked after watching his little brother quietly for a few minutes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost immediately, the boy's face darkened. "That bad, huh?" Lloyd nodded. Cole shifted positions and involuntarily stroked the stubble creeping onto his chin, caused by a lack of motivation to shave. “Wu made me write one once. It took me a week until it felt finished.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd’s face displayed terrified disgust and Cole quickly rephrased his comment. “Of course, my standards might be a bit different than yours.” The green ninja swiveled around in his chair to face the earth ninja. “How’d you do it?” he asked through a mouthful of candy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m used to keeping myself motiva-” “What did you put in the letter?” Lloyd interrupted for clarity. Cole thought for a second. “Think of questions you had when you were a kid about your future self and go from there,” he advised. “I still <em>am </em>a kid,” came the retort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cole ignored the comeback and continued. “It doesn’t even have to be good. You can always go back and edit, or write another draft.” “I have to write multiple letters?” Lloyd panicked. Cole chuckled. “Don’t be surprised if it comes to that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small ping filled the room, followed by shuffling as Cole fished a phone and reading glasses out of his hoodie pocket. “We’ll eat late; try to answer three questions before then,” he challenged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stopped to rumple the youngster’s blond mop, earning several exclamations of protest. Then, he left the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd turned back to the paper and rewrote “Dear Me”. He tapped his pencil on his desk rhythmically, now more energetic from the sugar burst. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone probably hates you right now, and you’re wondering what you’re worth and if you’re even worth anything. You are. In the future, you get a loving family. You have a home, where no one tries sabotaging your bed.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A memory trickled into Lloyd’s mind, and he quickly added: <em>unless it's April Fools, Revenge Pranks, or Uncle Wu</em>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shuddered, remembering when he swiped Jay's prized first-edition Fritz Donnegan Issue #278. The sparkles had taken weeks to wash out of his hair, sheets, and clothes, earning Lloyd the title of Master of Disco. Even though the trick was at least 3 months ago, he still found wayward glitter in strange places.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He re-read what he wrote and glanced at a set of photos to his left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One showed him and his siblings armed for laser tag. His team had consisted of Kai and Jay in an epic battle against Nya, Zane, and Cole. Short Stacks ended up miserably failing, despite Kai's intense sibling competitiveness, Jay's skills, and Lloyd's mischievousness. Rock Solid was clearly overpowered with Nya's fury, Cole's strength, and Zane's nindroid... ness? Powers? Lloyd shrugged and continued reliving the memory.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, the day ended with lots of joking (and light arguing, quickly ended by Nya), a sweaty group of ninjas, and ice cream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The picture below it was from The Royal Blacksmiths' Reunion Tour. Each person was dressed sharply, a picture Kai dubbed as their "secret agents infiltrating a high-class party" look. In fact, while taking the picture, Kai had made the comment, and each ninja strove to capture the expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zane looked collected and serious, while Cole looked more like a guard. Jay struck an overly dramatic pose, and Kai went for more of a "cocky and obscenely rich" type of agent. All agreed that Nya looked the best with her death glare, an expression Lloyd had attempted to copy, but ended up looking adorably innocent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The performance at Marti Oppenheimer was excellent, but the best part had been smuggling poor Cole away from several upset and concerned teachers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The final image was a newspaper clipping from after the Final Battle. Lloyd smiled slightly at his short hair, and the reflection of his now-long hair grinned back at him. As always, Jay <em>had </em>to be dramatic, opting to lay across the ground instead of standing with the rest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gray hair of his father sparked an idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s good to want to be like Dad, but make sure it’s the right version of him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small tear slipped onto the paper and the rest that attempted to follow were quickly brushed away by a silk sleeve. The shattered glass from his favorite picture scarred the image, but didn’t hide what was underneath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd carefully picked up the frame and looked at his sensei-slash-dad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mystake’s words about Lloyd transforming also applied to Garmadon, Lloyd realized. His father had taken many forms, maybe even more than the green ninja. First came son of the First Spinjitzu Master, then victim of the Great Devourer. Followed by student of Chen and husband of…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lloyd brushed aside that role, his anger returning as he thought of his mother, who was currently on yet another trip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, he refocused on his father. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much of his childhood had been spent striving to live up to the legacy of Lord Garmadon. Attending a “school for bad boys” didn’t help much with that dream nor did opening the Serpentine tombs and temporarily befriending Pythor. Lloyd was pretty sure he still had his old hoodie with the sloppily painted ribcage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Secretly, Lloyd dubbed this version as “the <em>nice </em>Lord Garmadon”, as opposed to “the <em>evil </em>Lord Garmadon” summoned by The Quiet One. The latter version was nearly completely consumed by darkness, and held no love for Lloyd whatsoever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The version Lloyd loved the most was Sensei Dad. As a teacher, Garmadon had provided much wisdom. As a father, Garmadon had done his best to reconcile for his actions and sought to create a bond with the man Lloyd had become. Both had to learn to live in the present, instead of recreating a better past.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that Lloyd minded playing catch, the ill-fated fishing trip, or the week spent living in the blanket fort. He enjoyed every moment with Sensei Garmadon. Even cleaning up broken dishes. He laughed a watery chuckle at each memory, then stood and grabbed a tissue, somber happiness blanketing him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened the drawer where his pile of letters written to the late son of the First Spinjitzu Master lay. He sneezed. Dust floated through the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing back at his paragraph, Lloyd scribbled a more childish comment aimed at a certain someone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Most girls are terrible, with very few exceptions. Keep them out of your treehouse. Maybe your life too. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He erased the last sentence, realizing he’d probably regret it later. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t date princesses named Harumi.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect,” he muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More painful memories drifted through his mind, slowly weighing him down. Deeper and darker they went. Lies trickled into his head, whispered softly and flirtatiously into his ear. A chill crawled down his spine. He pushed the voice aside and stubbornly focused on her last moments.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She was never corrected,” he reminded himself shakily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A box of carefully hidden fears unlocked itself, allowing more voices to haunt him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You could have been like me. You </span>
  </em>
  <span>should <em>have been like me,” </em>Harumi whispered, donning the mask of hatred. “<em>Never could do it alone, could you?” </em>Morro jeered, towering above him. “<em>This is your legacy,” </em>the Overlord crooned in his dragon form.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words haunted him every day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He called out to his family, but they never came.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears stained the paper and his sleeves and snot dribbled down his chin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, hey.” Nya’s soothing voice and strong arms wrapped around him. She protected him from any outside menaces, namely electric chickens and any inconvenient attacks, as he sobbed away internal ones. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was still scared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he wasn’t alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gradually, his tears dried out and his heart calmed, leaving him with a few hiccups and a worried big sister. She glanced at the desk. “Writing your letter?” “Did you write one?” he asked, wiping his red nose on his sleeve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even PIXAL wrote one. We all ended up crying,” she told him, fishing around in her pockets for a tissue. Lloyd’s voice got younger and more childlike as he spoke. “Then why do we have to write them?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She thought for a moment. “I think Wu wants us to cry, so we can face our fears and be better fighters and ninjas. A lot of Spinitzu moves are based on not being afraid. And it makes us better people.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t <em>feel</em> better,” Lloyd grumbled through a stuffy nose. Nya half-smiled. “Well, it’ll make a difference later. You’ll see.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is dinner ready?” he asked, changing the subject abruptly, pasting on a fake grin. She studied him. <em>It wasn’t fair, Wu. Why would you hurt him so young? </em></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure you’re up for it? Do you want to rest? I can bring dinner in here for you a-” “The dragon is hungry,” Lloyd announced firmly. He stood decisively and tried to subtly crumple the letter in his desk drawer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stood too. “What dragon?” “Me. I’m the dragon!” Nya snort-laughed and Lloyd grinned for real, his tiny fangs flashing white. “Well, lead on, squirt.” She gestured to the door and he proudly stomped to the doorway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Where he paused uncertainly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And looked back at the drawer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She touched his shoulder gently, trying to pull him away. “It’s not going to follow you,” she reminded him. “I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voices in his mind tried to protest. He told them to shut up. “So, Kai’s cooking?” he asked, once again pasting on the smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She frowned, wanting to say something, but his pleading green eyes made her change the subject anyway. “Yeah, and he’s trying this new recipe…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their voices faded as they left the room, chattering about who could handle the spice levels of Kai’s creation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Golden light spilled across the room, tracing patterns on the furniture and the floor. In the drawer, the crumpled letter started inevitably collecting dust alongside a forgotten math test. Black, lead letters sprawled across the page.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>